~ yAo kAi xiN ~ 要开心~

_~ yAo kAi xiN ~ 要开心~_
yea...i did sae tt...but i feel like im contradicting miself...

i wanna b happy...but most of e time...i dun really feel happy...i dunno y...dun ask mi...results are soon to b out...if i sae im nt scare...nt afriad blah...im lying...im coward...i keep telling miself...no matter wat happen...life still haf to go on...i got 24hrs to b either happy or sad...after tt...i muz b back on mi feet...

but honestly...i dunno whether i wanna repeat if mi results are bad...but i seriously gt no intention of doing so...dun ask mi y...im nt e kind of person who likes to study...i prefer to do music stuff...

e other dae...mr ng sae i take comments to personally...but...watever...

honestly speaking...i feel like crying...but e tears jux hold back by themselves...im feeling really really really stress out n tired...i wan to haf a rest...helping mi junior to cover up e past few wks haf been really tiring already...im bery bery sick n tired of doing all tis sh*t...

e teachers in HIHS haf high hopes in mi...they believe i can make it for A levels...i tink otherwise...i dunno y...who asked mi didnt work hard enuff...its no use regretting now...i noe...so i wont regret mi actions...i wont...I WONT!

i may stop skooling...jux purely focus on music...i wan to b a musician...i wan to write mi own pieces...i wan to re-arrange works...i wan to teach music...i wan to b a pianist...i wan to b a hornist...i wan mi own grand piano...mi own horn...

but 1st...i muz haf faith in miself...

gracia...you can do it!

=)

i must do it!