memoRIES
_memoRIES_
well...i was deleting some files...n i happen to find tis...so i shall post on mi blog...it was written more than a yr ago...used for e agm in hiband last yr...it really gt mi to tink alot bout mi music life in hiband which i wanna gif up...now...im tinking...is it right to really gif up?
Band,
Firstly, sorry that I'm unable to attend this very important session with you guys. Though I really want to be here with you all, I still have my own band practice to attend. So, no choice. Well, I might not be in some great position to tell you guys all these, but my conscious say I must let all of you know these stuffs.
Honestly, I have to thank all of you people in the Band, all of you who took part in the SYF, everyone in the band, especially the Sec.5 members. Remember the time when I didn't come for Band for 2weeks? That time, was a great time of reflection for me. I was super down when I forced myself not to come for any of your band practices. Why? Because I was too proud to take back my words, also because I don't feel needed. Why? Because I don't feel welcome and appreciated, also, I was angry about some other factors. During that time, I was scolded by my class-mate, she said, "Why are you so stupid of giving up on your Band because of what other's think or say about you? You are just plain selfish." That really hit me hard in the head. I realized something, I'm deeply rooted with the Band.
The first 3 people I really have to thank is Mr. Tan, Mrs. Chua and Mr. Ng. They were the people who really taught me many things indirectly. Without them, I might not be able to survive in the Band for so long. I remembered once, when I was having sectionals with the horns, I told Mr. Tan that I might not be able to come back this year at all or maybe only a few times to help out, he told me, "Why are you letting off your passion for music?" Ever since he said that, I tried to attend Band practice with you guys at least once a week. His words were one big motivation for me. He was the first person who told me not to give up my passion for music. I was really glad someone said that, because I was on the verge of getting my life out of music for studies. Mrs. Chua, she's like a mother to me though I never really communicate much with her. I was never under her teachings, but whenever I come for Band, I'm always looking forward to meeting her. I don't understand why too. But through her, I learnt how to teach others better. Mr. Ng, firstly, I really have to thank him for sending me to SR after every Band practice, or else I will be late every time. Mr. Ng had taught me some stuffs indirectly too. He taught me to see things from another prospective, thus, allowing me to get to know how others are thinking instead of how I am thinking only. Thanks to all of you 3!
The teachers-in-charge. The first thing I really have to say is, thanks for not chasing me away whenever I come to help. Thanks for not barking me to get home to do my work instead of coming back to help. And finally, Mrs. Tan and Mrs. Ganesan, thanks for your concerns about my health. Not forgetting Mr. Tan and Mr. Ng and everyone else.
I had quite a few meeting sessions with the Sec.5 members. They were the one who brought me closer to the Band without needing to be there. Huan Ying, yeah, she might be loud at times, but her thoughts are always wonderful and never let me down before. Eleanor, she's once under me as NCO after that, she went super down after stepping down as NCO to OIC. However, she remained strong. I saw her cried because of her position, and it really breaks my heart. But seeing how she is today really ease my thinking. Vincent, a rough guy, but always willing to work hard. Ying^2 and Grace, the two very playful members in horn section. I always wanted to give up hope on them, but never once did I do such a thing. You guys must be thinking, why am I telling you guys all these rubbish. Well, imagine going to a band with no friends. They are the ones who are always there to support me. Thanks guys!
Since February this year, I started keeping a note-book titled "Gracia's tots on HIMB". Inside of it contains all the band practices I attended. Well, some of them brought me anger, some of them brought me joy, etc. most importantly, they brought me knowledge. I started intensive training with you guys a little late. That's one thing which brought me anger. I know how much you all want that Gold. Thus, sometimes I really blamed myself, why didn't I start this intensive training earlier, why did I only start this thing 1 week before SYF? That's one important lesson I learnt. Don't do things at the last minute. This is an important lesson for those taking N level, O level and End-of-year exams too!
During the period of intensive training, I came down every single day. Monday to Saturday, I was always around. But the attendance wasn't always there. But who cares? I cared. It was demoralizing to see such an attendance, but I still continued with my plans. No matter how tired I was, I still make my way down to HI for band, or should I say sectionals. Yes, to prevent myself from being late, I even had to pay my own taxi fare. And yes, now I'm totally broke. Yeah, you might see it's only a small amount, but try doing it like, at least 2-3 times a month. It's not a small amount. Well, I can't really be bothered about the money, because I had a mission in mind. By teaching you guys, I realized that I could do many things which I never thought I was able to do. Teaching woodwinds was never my style, because I know nuts about it. But when I was having sectionals with the flutes and clarinets, I realized I can teach a little of woodwinds too. To you guys its nothing, but to me, you guys built up my confidence as a student conductor of SRband. Serious! No joke! When I was teaching the clarinets, they didn't really did what I told them to do. But on a Friday practice when they played well, I was touched to tears. Because, somehow I sensed gratitude in their playing. Honestly, I enjoyed every sectional I had with the sections I had with. You guys really taught me a lot of stuffs. Thanks!
The little note of motivations took me days to be done. I was in camp during the intensive training days. Thus, in order to finish those in time, I did it through the night till 5am in the morning. After that, I went down to HI for the last Band practice with you guys before the SYF day. There were some stuffs which made me very angry. But I just kept everything to myself. I don't know how much my words have motivated you all. But I hope that after you guys graduate from HIMB, don't forget your root. Most importantly, don't give up on music!
During the SYF day, I rushed down to SCH after lessons in SR. Yes, I took a cab again. It's double the price I usually take to reach HI. That day, I really didn't mind about the taxi fare because I promised you guys that I will be there on time to watch you guys perform. I had to be there. Earlier on that day, I wasn't able to concentrate in class. During my geography lesson, my geo teacher said I looked very worried. I murmured, I'm so nervous for them! My class-mates were almost driven crazy by me because I was counting down to your SYF every 5 minutes. Crazy as it may, but I was really nervous because I traveled this journey with you guys. In order to finish this journey with you guys, I had to be there to watch you guys perform. Sitting in the hall, listening to you guys play almost brought me tears, tears of happiness and sadness, mostly importantly, I heard the thing I wanted. Musicality. For that, I really have to thank you guys again. Though it's not a perfect one, I'm still really grateful for it. Gratitude was heard in the playing.
After the results were announced, we were all happy for Marsiling Band. However, most of you present there broke down after we got our results. I heard that those who were at OBS broke down too. I was sad. Not because of the results. But because of how you guys were feeling then. I couldn't really do anything to cheer you guys up. All I could say then was, try harder the next time and gave you guys hearts. But, at the end of the day, the bottom line is, how hard you practice determines what you will get later. SYF 2005 is over. Silver is ours. We should be proud of it. I'm proud about it. How about you guys? I hope all of you are too!
Yes, my naggy long speech is coming to an end. My journey with you guys comes to a stop temporary. But, hopefully I can find time to go back to visit you guys. Wanted to go back a few times before but I was too busy with SRband. Try having Band practice everyday till 8pm. That's what I'm doing now. Well, people, I enjoyed this journey of SYF 2005 with you guys. Hopefully, by 2007 we will all work hard together to achieve something more important than the Gold medal or the Gold with Honors medal, i.e. musicality and unity.
Here, I wish those having major exams at the end of the year best of luck. I will be graduating together with you guys. So...GOOD LUCK!!! I wish the new band committee and SLs a successful beginning. Most importantly, I wish every single members of HIMB and everyone else the best of health.
Cheers,
Gracia =)
26 April 2005
izzit e rite choice to leave?i really dunno...but i tink its a better choice for mi at least for the time being...but for how long...i really dunno...music...wat is it to mi now?i dunno...seem like i lost track with e music line already...
e harmony concert on fridae...e running about wif e band...helping here n there...baby sitting them...i enjoyed them...well...mayb there's no one to bother or trouble mi...or in fact...i didnt make miself feel tt im a alumni...more like a friend...i enjoyed e moment i sat under e stary sky with e barbie gal pple enjoying mi chicken pie...its gd i haf to sae...while...i really enjoyed tt moment...there'll nv b a second time to tt...e supper at coconut with brin,tty,micht,rach,sx,dawn,mel...listening to e band members telling mi bout their prob...their tots to e band...i really enjoyed all of it...
im may no longer b e alumni exco/core of the band...but i'll always b a friend to e band...always b a friend to e band members...as long as they haf e trust n faith in mi...
thankew...grading members...hua hua jacinta...thanks...u guys made mi tink alot about e band...
well...i was deleting some files...n i happen to find tis...so i shall post on mi blog...it was written more than a yr ago...used for e agm in hiband last yr...it really gt mi to tink alot bout mi music life in hiband which i wanna gif up...now...im tinking...is it right to really gif up?
Band,
Firstly, sorry that I'm unable to attend this very important session with you guys. Though I really want to be here with you all, I still have my own band practice to attend. So, no choice. Well, I might not be in some great position to tell you guys all these, but my conscious say I must let all of you know these stuffs.
Honestly, I have to thank all of you people in the Band, all of you who took part in the SYF, everyone in the band, especially the Sec.5 members. Remember the time when I didn't come for Band for 2weeks? That time, was a great time of reflection for me. I was super down when I forced myself not to come for any of your band practices. Why? Because I was too proud to take back my words, also because I don't feel needed. Why? Because I don't feel welcome and appreciated, also, I was angry about some other factors. During that time, I was scolded by my class-mate, she said, "Why are you so stupid of giving up on your Band because of what other's think or say about you? You are just plain selfish." That really hit me hard in the head. I realized something, I'm deeply rooted with the Band.
The first 3 people I really have to thank is Mr. Tan, Mrs. Chua and Mr. Ng. They were the people who really taught me many things indirectly. Without them, I might not be able to survive in the Band for so long. I remembered once, when I was having sectionals with the horns, I told Mr. Tan that I might not be able to come back this year at all or maybe only a few times to help out, he told me, "Why are you letting off your passion for music?" Ever since he said that, I tried to attend Band practice with you guys at least once a week. His words were one big motivation for me. He was the first person who told me not to give up my passion for music. I was really glad someone said that, because I was on the verge of getting my life out of music for studies. Mrs. Chua, she's like a mother to me though I never really communicate much with her. I was never under her teachings, but whenever I come for Band, I'm always looking forward to meeting her. I don't understand why too. But through her, I learnt how to teach others better. Mr. Ng, firstly, I really have to thank him for sending me to SR after every Band practice, or else I will be late every time. Mr. Ng had taught me some stuffs indirectly too. He taught me to see things from another prospective, thus, allowing me to get to know how others are thinking instead of how I am thinking only. Thanks to all of you 3!
The teachers-in-charge. The first thing I really have to say is, thanks for not chasing me away whenever I come to help. Thanks for not barking me to get home to do my work instead of coming back to help. And finally, Mrs. Tan and Mrs. Ganesan, thanks for your concerns about my health. Not forgetting Mr. Tan and Mr. Ng and everyone else.
I had quite a few meeting sessions with the Sec.5 members. They were the one who brought me closer to the Band without needing to be there. Huan Ying, yeah, she might be loud at times, but her thoughts are always wonderful and never let me down before. Eleanor, she's once under me as NCO after that, she went super down after stepping down as NCO to OIC. However, she remained strong. I saw her cried because of her position, and it really breaks my heart. But seeing how she is today really ease my thinking. Vincent, a rough guy, but always willing to work hard. Ying^2 and Grace, the two very playful members in horn section. I always wanted to give up hope on them, but never once did I do such a thing. You guys must be thinking, why am I telling you guys all these rubbish. Well, imagine going to a band with no friends. They are the ones who are always there to support me. Thanks guys!
Since February this year, I started keeping a note-book titled "Gracia's tots on HIMB". Inside of it contains all the band practices I attended. Well, some of them brought me anger, some of them brought me joy, etc. most importantly, they brought me knowledge. I started intensive training with you guys a little late. That's one thing which brought me anger. I know how much you all want that Gold. Thus, sometimes I really blamed myself, why didn't I start this intensive training earlier, why did I only start this thing 1 week before SYF? That's one important lesson I learnt. Don't do things at the last minute. This is an important lesson for those taking N level, O level and End-of-year exams too!
During the period of intensive training, I came down every single day. Monday to Saturday, I was always around. But the attendance wasn't always there. But who cares? I cared. It was demoralizing to see such an attendance, but I still continued with my plans. No matter how tired I was, I still make my way down to HI for band, or should I say sectionals. Yes, to prevent myself from being late, I even had to pay my own taxi fare. And yes, now I'm totally broke. Yeah, you might see it's only a small amount, but try doing it like, at least 2-3 times a month. It's not a small amount. Well, I can't really be bothered about the money, because I had a mission in mind. By teaching you guys, I realized that I could do many things which I never thought I was able to do. Teaching woodwinds was never my style, because I know nuts about it. But when I was having sectionals with the flutes and clarinets, I realized I can teach a little of woodwinds too. To you guys its nothing, but to me, you guys built up my confidence as a student conductor of SRband. Serious! No joke! When I was teaching the clarinets, they didn't really did what I told them to do. But on a Friday practice when they played well, I was touched to tears. Because, somehow I sensed gratitude in their playing. Honestly, I enjoyed every sectional I had with the sections I had with. You guys really taught me a lot of stuffs. Thanks!
The little note of motivations took me days to be done. I was in camp during the intensive training days. Thus, in order to finish those in time, I did it through the night till 5am in the morning. After that, I went down to HI for the last Band practice with you guys before the SYF day. There were some stuffs which made me very angry. But I just kept everything to myself. I don't know how much my words have motivated you all. But I hope that after you guys graduate from HIMB, don't forget your root. Most importantly, don't give up on music!
During the SYF day, I rushed down to SCH after lessons in SR. Yes, I took a cab again. It's double the price I usually take to reach HI. That day, I really didn't mind about the taxi fare because I promised you guys that I will be there on time to watch you guys perform. I had to be there. Earlier on that day, I wasn't able to concentrate in class. During my geography lesson, my geo teacher said I looked very worried. I murmured, I'm so nervous for them! My class-mates were almost driven crazy by me because I was counting down to your SYF every 5 minutes. Crazy as it may, but I was really nervous because I traveled this journey with you guys. In order to finish this journey with you guys, I had to be there to watch you guys perform. Sitting in the hall, listening to you guys play almost brought me tears, tears of happiness and sadness, mostly importantly, I heard the thing I wanted. Musicality. For that, I really have to thank you guys again. Though it's not a perfect one, I'm still really grateful for it. Gratitude was heard in the playing.
After the results were announced, we were all happy for Marsiling Band. However, most of you present there broke down after we got our results. I heard that those who were at OBS broke down too. I was sad. Not because of the results. But because of how you guys were feeling then. I couldn't really do anything to cheer you guys up. All I could say then was, try harder the next time and gave you guys hearts. But, at the end of the day, the bottom line is, how hard you practice determines what you will get later. SYF 2005 is over. Silver is ours. We should be proud of it. I'm proud about it. How about you guys? I hope all of you are too!
Yes, my naggy long speech is coming to an end. My journey with you guys comes to a stop temporary. But, hopefully I can find time to go back to visit you guys. Wanted to go back a few times before but I was too busy with SRband. Try having Band practice everyday till 8pm. That's what I'm doing now. Well, people, I enjoyed this journey of SYF 2005 with you guys. Hopefully, by 2007 we will all work hard together to achieve something more important than the Gold medal or the Gold with Honors medal, i.e. musicality and unity.
Here, I wish those having major exams at the end of the year best of luck. I will be graduating together with you guys. So...GOOD LUCK!!! I wish the new band committee and SLs a successful beginning. Most importantly, I wish every single members of HIMB and everyone else the best of health.
Cheers,
Gracia =)
26 April 2005
izzit e rite choice to leave?i really dunno...but i tink its a better choice for mi at least for the time being...but for how long...i really dunno...music...wat is it to mi now?i dunno...seem like i lost track with e music line already...
e harmony concert on fridae...e running about wif e band...helping here n there...baby sitting them...i enjoyed them...well...mayb there's no one to bother or trouble mi...or in fact...i didnt make miself feel tt im a alumni...more like a friend...i enjoyed e moment i sat under e stary sky with e barbie gal pple enjoying mi chicken pie...its gd i haf to sae...while...i really enjoyed tt moment...there'll nv b a second time to tt...e supper at coconut with brin,tty,micht,rach,sx,dawn,mel...listening to e band members telling mi bout their prob...their tots to e band...i really enjoyed all of it...
im may no longer b e alumni exco/core of the band...but i'll always b a friend to e band...always b a friend to e band members...as long as they haf e trust n faith in mi...
thankew...grading members...hua hua jacinta...thanks...u guys made mi tink alot about e band...
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