faith

_fAitH_

faith...

Matthew 17:20

And Jesus said unto them,
Because of your unbelief;
for verily I say unto you,
If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed,
ye shall say unto this mountain,
Remove hence to yonder place;
and it shall remove'
and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

i tink i no need explain...recently...i dunno wat's wrong...but i feel like im tinking twice bout music again...mayb three times...mi piano...mi horn...mi music life...mi compositions...its like...it came to a stop suddenly for everyting...

mi new composition...after some negative comments...i stopped again...due to lack of time...i didnt have much time to prac mi dear piano...n mi horn...its like no band i lost my motivation...but i still dun wan to go back...though i really want to...cox i cant work with a band who dun appreciate e music...

someone's nick on msn was like tis "Y do we appreciate MUSIC better than e ppl ard us? Simple: we listen to music, but do we REALLY LISTEN to others? Wake up PLS!" i try to do both side...but all in all...everyting seem worst...mrs ganesan told mi todae e alumni went back...i realised sth...once im gone...they start cuming back...wat e crap...

gifing up band is like...gifing up mi sight...mi taste...mi touch...mi hearing...mi breathe...in short...its like gifing up...everyting of mine...esp music...mi mum was saying so many pple taking up scholarship frm moe now...how can i get to do e nie dip in music course...i was actually quite depressed...but i didnt wan to sae aniting...

i jux feel bery useless...

yes...useless...bery useless...i feel like a fruit in e tree...either someone pluck mi off e tree...or i jux drop n rot...i dun feel like a fighter...no...i feel like im nobody...tt's y i hate miself...

i enjoy composing for e fun of it...but mi works...are always commented...e 1st...its sound like sth else...n still kana re-arranged by someone else...e 2nd was still okie...e 3rd...i didnt bother to really let many listen...e current...i dun haf animore ideas to cont...but i really do like mi own work...tt's wat i haf to sae...

i tink...i really need to haf e faith in miself to believe tt i can do it in music...its really someting i like n dun wish to gif up...i haf already gave up band...which is a bery tupid n horrible mistake...but i dun wish to regret...cox im wking with pple who dun really appreicate music...

i will never wan to gif up on music...

i mux haf faith...in miself... =)