i dun feel like miself...
well...again...long time no blog le...but...was quite bz...n a little bz...oso...dun haf e mood 2 write how i feel tis few wks... :(
haiz...so called "jue jiao" wif a friend...a bery close friend...a friend...whoi tell mi heart felt feelings to...a friend who we always spend time together...a friend who is always willing to study wif mi at fast-food resturants till almost 10pm everynite...a friend who is always there 4 mi...etc. most imptly...a friend who is e 1st to use mi name 2 lie about sth nt quite rite to her mom n our teacher...she made mi feel tt i cannot trust pple easily now...and oso...i dun haf e courage 2 trust pple now...
i used to trust everyone around mi...no matter how bad e bond is btw some of them...i still trust them...but...never...do i believe tt...its mi close friend...who destory mi trust towards e pple around mi now...im scare of pple now...though i dun show it...n i hate tis friend of mine now!though im tearing while saying tis...i dun tink i can bring miself to forgive her easily...
our teacher was hafing lesson wif us e other dae...n he sae sth wired...i was shocked by his words...later she sms mi n sae she was sorry 4 using mi name 2 tell a lie...i was mad...coz she onli tell mi e truth after so long...other friends hu used to lie wif mi name were juz 4 fun...n i understand y they do so...coz they noe tt's wat i wan...but i juz dun sae out...so they sae it 4 mi without letting mi noe...but at least...they wont keep it frm mi...n im glad...but tis...i cant take it...after tt...tis friend of mine seem to ignore mi totally and has a new gp...i was bery sad...coz we were as close as sister once...now...we seem to b strangers...im totally upset by her actions...
she seem to change after joining them...she seem much happier...mayb im a bored person...so she isnt tt happy when we r hafing each other's company...but honestly speaking...im sad...coz i juz lost mi best friend in such a way...after using mi name to lie...n den been treated like a stranger...mayb its mi fault...coz i sae i muz keep away frm her...coz e teacher is treating us like les...haiz...i dunno...mayb tt statement of mine coz us to bcum like tt...
i dunno...mayb after leaving sec skool...she's mi 1st true best friend...tt's y tis end of friendship cause mi to feel like tt...i dun feel like miself...i tink i haf 4gotten 2 smile n luff n behave like e old mi...when i see her...mi blood boils...mayb bcum of e way she act now...not like her animore...n oso by e lie she made...
i feel bery bad oso...coz...a few daes b4 her b'dae...i gave her her gife n letter...e letter contains some hurtful tings...but i...i dunno wat 2 sae bout it...she gave mi a reply...saeing tt i can tok 2 her when im down or wat-so-ever...but u tink i haf e courage 2 trust her animore??NO WAY!
tearing n tearing n tearing...i onli noe how 2 cry tis daes...coz i feel betrayed...by a close friend...i feel alone though i haf many pple beside mi...coz i lost a bery close friend...but i can onli keep tis tings 2 miself...i dun wan her 2 b sad...or wat...i juz wan her 2 b happy like how she feels now...
well...i tink...tt's e end of our friendship...though its hard to let go...i'll haf to...n i muz learn to accept it...it will b a bery hard period 4 mi...but i'll haf 2 go thru it...moreover...e promos r cuming up...i muz do well...or shld i sae...at least make it 2 yr 2...
mi friends...tis period will b a hard period 4 mi...to 4get tis once so-called best friend of mine...mine "zhi ji"...mi temper is like shit now...i get angered easily...get sad easily...in short...im going thru another emotion breakdown...i dunno how i feel...i dun feel like miself....so mi friends...i hope u guys will 4gif mi if i do aniting bad/wrong 2 u guys...coz...i need some time to overcum wat's going on n calm miself...mi emotion down...
n i sae i hate tis so-called friend of mine...but hopefully...after some time...i can bring miself to 4gif her...but 4 now...i truly hate her 4 e way she is behaving...etc. i cant bring miself 2 4gif her yet...n lastly...
I HATE MISELF N NOT BEING MISELF!!!
im sad...
i dun wan 2 cry...
but i juz lost mi best friend...
not long ago...
im sad...
*tearing*
haiz...so called "jue jiao" wif a friend...a bery close friend...a friend...whoi tell mi heart felt feelings to...a friend who we always spend time together...a friend who is always willing to study wif mi at fast-food resturants till almost 10pm everynite...a friend who is always there 4 mi...etc. most imptly...a friend who is e 1st to use mi name 2 lie about sth nt quite rite to her mom n our teacher...she made mi feel tt i cannot trust pple easily now...and oso...i dun haf e courage 2 trust pple now...
i used to trust everyone around mi...no matter how bad e bond is btw some of them...i still trust them...but...never...do i believe tt...its mi close friend...who destory mi trust towards e pple around mi now...im scare of pple now...though i dun show it...n i hate tis friend of mine now!though im tearing while saying tis...i dun tink i can bring miself to forgive her easily...
our teacher was hafing lesson wif us e other dae...n he sae sth wired...i was shocked by his words...later she sms mi n sae she was sorry 4 using mi name 2 tell a lie...i was mad...coz she onli tell mi e truth after so long...other friends hu used to lie wif mi name were juz 4 fun...n i understand y they do so...coz they noe tt's wat i wan...but i juz dun sae out...so they sae it 4 mi without letting mi noe...but at least...they wont keep it frm mi...n im glad...but tis...i cant take it...after tt...tis friend of mine seem to ignore mi totally and has a new gp...i was bery sad...coz we were as close as sister once...now...we seem to b strangers...im totally upset by her actions...
she seem to change after joining them...she seem much happier...mayb im a bored person...so she isnt tt happy when we r hafing each other's company...but honestly speaking...im sad...coz i juz lost mi best friend in such a way...after using mi name to lie...n den been treated like a stranger...mayb its mi fault...coz i sae i muz keep away frm her...coz e teacher is treating us like les...haiz...i dunno...mayb tt statement of mine coz us to bcum like tt...
i dunno...mayb after leaving sec skool...she's mi 1st true best friend...tt's y tis end of friendship cause mi to feel like tt...i dun feel like miself...i tink i haf 4gotten 2 smile n luff n behave like e old mi...when i see her...mi blood boils...mayb bcum of e way she act now...not like her animore...n oso by e lie she made...
i feel bery bad oso...coz...a few daes b4 her b'dae...i gave her her gife n letter...e letter contains some hurtful tings...but i...i dunno wat 2 sae bout it...she gave mi a reply...saeing tt i can tok 2 her when im down or wat-so-ever...but u tink i haf e courage 2 trust her animore??NO WAY!
tearing n tearing n tearing...i onli noe how 2 cry tis daes...coz i feel betrayed...by a close friend...i feel alone though i haf many pple beside mi...coz i lost a bery close friend...but i can onli keep tis tings 2 miself...i dun wan her 2 b sad...or wat...i juz wan her 2 b happy like how she feels now...
well...i tink...tt's e end of our friendship...though its hard to let go...i'll haf to...n i muz learn to accept it...it will b a bery hard period 4 mi...but i'll haf 2 go thru it...moreover...e promos r cuming up...i muz do well...or shld i sae...at least make it 2 yr 2...
mi friends...tis period will b a hard period 4 mi...to 4get tis once so-called best friend of mine...mine "zhi ji"...mi temper is like shit now...i get angered easily...get sad easily...in short...im going thru another emotion breakdown...i dunno how i feel...i dun feel like miself....so mi friends...i hope u guys will 4gif mi if i do aniting bad/wrong 2 u guys...coz...i need some time to overcum wat's going on n calm miself...mi emotion down...
n i sae i hate tis so-called friend of mine...but hopefully...after some time...i can bring miself to 4gif her...but 4 now...i truly hate her 4 e way she is behaving...etc. i cant bring miself 2 4gif her yet...n lastly...
I HATE MISELF N NOT BEING MISELF!!!
im sad...
i dun wan 2 cry...
but i juz lost mi best friend...
not long ago...
im sad...
*tearing*
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