my brain feels like its cracking open

+my brain feels like its cracking open+

yesh...mi brain really like going to crack open liao...haiz...but nth is getting in though study like crazy~

haiz...coz im tupid...i admit...

haiz...alot of tings happened recently...dun wan to mention most of it...saw some HIband junior's in compass after studying with kitty...they told mi tt mr ng mentioned to them that i may b going back to help out after mi A levels...haiz...i cant...i cant confirm i can help...i already told mr ng liao...i didnt expect him to tell e band bout tis...sad...NOW I FEEL SO GUILTY!!! *tears*

haiz...life sux to mi now...

can someone juz kill mi?im really sick n tired liao...tis cough im hafing now is killing mi...mayb i haf TB...haiz...mayb i shld learn frm mi juniors...cut miself to get rid of some problems n pain...mayb i shld get out on e road n let a car knock mi down...no...a bus or a truck shld b better...mayb i shld start pills popping again...juz let mi die...im so sick n tired of mi life...

but i cant die yet...there r still so many tings out there for mi...i yet to own a grand piano n a horn...i yet to haf a chance to help HIband...i yet to do many tings i like...most imptly...

i yet to enjoy life...

im listening to ross roy now...there tis part...nearing e end...btw the part b4 modulation n after modulation...makes mi feel relax...makes mi see like...tings can b wonderful...dunno...but tt's how i feel when i listen to it...but...is e world really like tis? im not sure bout tt...

really sick n tired now...hafing bad throat infection though i still can tok...but mi throat...i feel like digging it out...its bery itch...haiz...e medi is useless...whenever i start studying...mi heads feels pain...mi friend sae its due to stress...mayb...mayb im hafing brain cancer...or watsoever...mayb im dying...

haiz...tis blog is so depressing...

i wish to b happy...i wish to b happy again...like how i was when HIband gt grade 1 for assessment...like how i was when HIband gt silver 4 e past 6yrs...like how i was when debbie n lulu bcum united...like how i was when i received mi PSLE and O level results...like how i was when i got mi piano results...but if i cant b as happy as e metioned above...i juz wish...i can b happy gracia...n not e sad mi now...

im facing lots of problems...want to hear mi out?i dun tink so...coz i dunno how to sae it too...

i juz wan to b happy...