e fiX~

_e fiX~_

and yes...its e time again...mi tupid idiotic bird brain is doing alot of tinking again...like...wat e lor...rubbish...haix~

rmb when i always i wan leave e band?yea...i noe i keep going back...but its bcox i want to help...i wan to teach...n i love e band...i keep gifing all i noe...i keep gifing mi 14yrs of knowledge of music to e band...without asking aniting in return...

but...tinking back...i keep asking miself...is mi effort appreciated?is mi effort known?so wat if i go earlier during pracs to help out? so wat if i gif so much? do these pple noe? n understand y? they can pin-pt mi or watever behind mi back...but are mi purpose met?

i was e one who sae i wan to leave...so i lost out alot...but i cant b bothered...in other words...HECK CARE...i dun care bout e other seniors...or shld i sae...e other alumni now...i mayb rude to them now...but its nt totally mi fault...i lost mi respect to them liao...bz pple...who's nt bz in tis world?i oso wish i can b as bz as them soon...so i will nt need to contribute to e band animore...

honestly...lucky i still haf mi dear horn section which i could teach n help...but...tis is nt enuff for mi...i wan to do more...im a greedy person...but if i do more...there will bound to b someone who sae..."u seem more like e instructor den mi" again...

went back to srjc e other dae...mama told mi sth...i was a little moved by it...n by e idea...but i dun haf e guts...i seriously wish to do it...but...can i make it? i oso dunno...

i seriously feel like crying...so i could feel better...but i wan to b strong...

but...i feel sad...

i love music...but its always music which makes mi sad...

mayb its time to write a piece with a sad theme...