Insecurities
Hello people! Let's just have a short update alright? Want to sleep early tonight. So, here goes!
Recently, actually, these 2 days, I experienced alot of joy. And I really meant alot. Despite alot of things happening, I was still at peace and was joyful. For example, yesterday. In the morning, I was quite late. Then, I realised I did not print my lesson plan, so I went to print. Then, I realised I forgot to print the song sheet. After that, was preparing to leave. Noticed that the timing was late already. The time I was about to leave was the time I usually reach school. So, rushed out. Then! I realised I forgot to bring my handphone. So, up again to get and rushed to school. Reached school, felt super underprepared for my 2nd lesson observation. Took some time to practice and all. Then, went for LO and the whole day was like in a mad rush. But, thank God! Because of His grace, I was still hopeful and felt great. In fact, I was singing out loud! While in the lift, while walking...I was like, "All your promises won't let go of me!" I kept repeating that. And truly, by God's grace, my LO was better than I expected. But still, have to guard my heart. I don't want to get proud of the results or feel sad about anything. But, I want to remember that these things are given by God, from God.
Yet, today, I realised how insecurities can drive someone to be jealous and all. And actually, this person is me myself. Haha. Amazing. Alright, I'm not jealous or insane. But, when I start to feel that way (my insecurities over taking me), I have to keep reminding myself not too and pray to God to take these negative thoughts away. I guess, sometimes when you have some achivement already, you want more. Or, you want to be better than others. You don't want to lose out. I think, sometimes, my old self just resurface. The self who wants to be better than anyone else, the self who cannot lose others. Terrible! But, God is merciful. He keeps reminding me Phil 2:3-4,
Well, I guess, sometimes, I have to learn to put down some or even all of my pride to come to learn from others. Sometimes it's very hard, especially if you already think that you are better than the other person. But, by God's grace, I want to overcome. I want to overcome my insecurities, my pride. I want to have a humbled heart, that is yearning for God, that is wanting God all the time and worry about the things of the world.
Insecurities...scary.
Recently, actually, these 2 days, I experienced alot of joy. And I really meant alot. Despite alot of things happening, I was still at peace and was joyful. For example, yesterday. In the morning, I was quite late. Then, I realised I did not print my lesson plan, so I went to print. Then, I realised I forgot to print the song sheet. After that, was preparing to leave. Noticed that the timing was late already. The time I was about to leave was the time I usually reach school. So, rushed out. Then! I realised I forgot to bring my handphone. So, up again to get and rushed to school. Reached school, felt super underprepared for my 2nd lesson observation. Took some time to practice and all. Then, went for LO and the whole day was like in a mad rush. But, thank God! Because of His grace, I was still hopeful and felt great. In fact, I was singing out loud! While in the lift, while walking...I was like, "All your promises won't let go of me!" I kept repeating that. And truly, by God's grace, my LO was better than I expected. But still, have to guard my heart. I don't want to get proud of the results or feel sad about anything. But, I want to remember that these things are given by God, from God.
Yet, today, I realised how insecurities can drive someone to be jealous and all. And actually, this person is me myself. Haha. Amazing. Alright, I'm not jealous or insane. But, when I start to feel that way (my insecurities over taking me), I have to keep reminding myself not too and pray to God to take these negative thoughts away. I guess, sometimes when you have some achivement already, you want more. Or, you want to be better than others. You don't want to lose out. I think, sometimes, my old self just resurface. The self who wants to be better than anyone else, the self who cannot lose others. Terrible! But, God is merciful. He keeps reminding me Phil 2:3-4,
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Well, I guess, sometimes, I have to learn to put down some or even all of my pride to come to learn from others. Sometimes it's very hard, especially if you already think that you are better than the other person. But, by God's grace, I want to overcome. I want to overcome my insecurities, my pride. I want to have a humbled heart, that is yearning for God, that is wanting God all the time and worry about the things of the world.
Insecurities...scary.
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